Getting a girlfriend is not as straight forward as many of us would like it to be, and therein lies the most frustrating factor for most men who are unable to get into a steady relationship with a woman. Like any worthwhile goal, getting a girlfriend requires a well worked out strategy.
The four-step strategy outlined below will work for you. It doesn’t matter if you are a loner or a prowling womanizer looking to settle on one special girl. Additional help and more specific strategies on how to get a girlfriend step by step can be found in the Girlfriend Activation System.
1. Change your mindset and improve your self-image
Positivity is one of the most important tools for achieving success at anything. Eliminate the fear of rejection and approach dating knowing that you will fail sometimes, but you will ultimately have more successes than failures.
Strive to be the best version of yourself by constantly improving and learning new things, and you’ll become very attractive to women. Cultivating self-confidence is also a great way to improve your chances of success. To women, confidence is the most attractive aspect in a man.
Take good care of your appearance through dedicated grooming and proper body maintenance as this not only increases your attractiveness, but also your self-confidence. How you feel about yourself will be projected in your behavior and personality, and it will have a significant influence on your ability (or inability) to attract women.
2. Go out more often and meet people
The most social men are also some of the most successful in the dating game. Many men are single not because there are no available women in the world who would be willing to be their girlfriend, but because they sit at home without a plan on where or how to meet her.
You can grow your social circle by joining activities such as book clubs, gyms, dance classes, recreational sports, etc. If you are shy or socially awkward, get a friend who has lots of other friends and accompany him. Then, make an effort to actually engage the girls you get introduced to in a friendly and inviting manner.
Start slow and seek to cultivate friendships at first rather than actually trying to find a girlfriend. If you set out to find a girlfriend, then you are approaching the process wrong. Before you can find a girlfriend, you first need to get comfortable approaching, talking to, and just being around women.
If you put too much focus on finding a girlfriend before you’re even comfortable interacting with women, then you may find yourself falling for the first girl who comes your way and shows you any kind of attention. This increases the likelihood you will settle for someone instead of ending up with the girl you really want.
The best approach is to become friends with lots of women as these are the ones that turn into meaningful relationships. Not only that, but women know lots of other women, so by making even just a few female friends, you can exponentially expand your opportunities to meet the girl who is right for you.
The key to success at this stage is to be a gentleman through and through. Sleazy jokes and pick up lines only ensure you are kept at a distance and you’ll never be offered the opportunity to develop a meaningful and long-term relationship.
3. Pick the right girl and ask her out
Once you have met and interacted with multiple candidates, you will have a clearer image of what type of girl you are looking for. Narrow down your choice and ask her out in a confident tone.
Be direct and make it clear you are asking her out on a date and not just looking to hang out as friends. The worst she can say is no, so don’t be afraid of rejection. If the answer is no, move on to someone else you like and repeat the process.
Ideally, since you’re just dating at this point, you shouldn’t limit yourself to just one girl. Go on dates with several women who you think might be a good match.
Dating more women will help you figure out the type of girl you want and will also improve your dating skills. Not only that, but you also become more desirable through “social proof” when there are multiple women who want to date you. Take girls out on a real date at a nice restaurant and stick to common date etiquette, starting with putting your phone away .
4. Pop the question
Once you find the girl you are most attracted to and most compatible with, it is time to ask her to be your girlfriend. This could happen after just a couple of dates or it might take several weeks or even months, so you’ll have to play it by ear. The way you approach this step could be the key to failing or succeeding.
Employ some creativity and react appropriately to whatever answer you get. If she says no, take it with dignity and avoid creeping her out by being too emotional or stalking her. Avoid taking rejection personally. She may reject you today, but in the future she might be open to a relationship, so avoid burning bridges.
If the answer is yes, show your delight with a genuine smile, a hug, and some carefully chosen words. Once you get the girlfriend you want, avoid suspending your entire life for her. Acting desperate or needy is very unattractive to women. You want to make time for her and be there for her, but you also need to keep your daily routine and the things and people who are important to you intact.
Love And Relationships
“How can I get out of the friend zone with a girl?” It’s a question heard around the world.
The stories tend to all start the same way…
You found this girl who you desperately want to make your girlfriend, and you decided to do anything and everything to win her over. The more she resisted, the nicer you became, thinking that if she saw this awesome side of you that she would eventually come to her senses.
Each time she pushed you away, you came back even nicer, lowering your threshold for pain and enduring weeks, months, and possibly years of her falling in an out of relationships with the wrong guys.
Each time a relationship burned up in flames, you put on that happy face, became the shoulder to cry on, her rock in time of trouble, and explained to her why any guy would be lucky to have her.
According to PsychologyToday.com, the friend zone is more a frustrating position than it is a “relationship”. The good news is, you have the ability to change this position easily if you know how.
Escaping That Dreaded Friend Zone
There is really only one way to get out of the friend zone, and that is to decide it is time to leave. If you do not start making some serious changes today, she will continue to assume you will always be there.
Think about it for a minute…
If you had a girl who would do just about anything for you, regardless of how you treated her, and without giving her any commitment whatsoever, what is your motivation to be her boyfriend if you have everything you want from her already?
She is never going to just wake up one day and realize you are the perfect guy for her. She has the best of both worlds right now. She is dating wild bad boys, and even though she gets hurt each time, she has a good guy whose shoulder she can cry on. Now is the time to stop being that rock!
Time To Make Drastic Moves
The only way you can escape the friend zone with a girl is by showing her, not telling her, that she is about to lose someone that truly is boyfriend material.
To start, make yourself scarce. Don’t be there every time she has an issue with a guy. Instead, start making an effort to hang out with other girls who really connect with you and go have fun.
The next time she asks for your ear, tell her you’re heading out the door for a date and will try to get back to her in a few days. This will instantly set off the bells in her head because someone else has your attention, and you’re not just dropping everything to listen to another one of her sob stories.
She might be pissed at first, hating the fact that another woman has moved in on her rock. Do not give in at this point and do not go running back just because she showed a glimmer of jealousy.
At eHarmony.com, experts explain to men that you have to show her you have a life, and you have to be prepared to move on. To escape the friend zone, you have to project confidence, be positive, and show the world you are choosing the women you want to be around from now on.
Shifting Her Focus To You
Once she realizes you have moved on, it is going to sting her at first, and she will text and call you crying every chance she can about how you are not the friend you told her you were. Hold your ground. This is similar to the child throwing a tantrum when their toy has been taken away and given to another child.
To get her to realize what she could be losing, you need to do the opposite of what you are doing now. Her brain will force her to make that tough decision: let you go or finally let you out of the dreaded friend zone and commit to a loving relationship with you.
Look at it this way: if you try this effective method and she doesn’t come back, you find out now that you never had a chance of getting out of the friend zone. You save yourself an eternity of being her wet sponge.
However, if it works, you get her to realize you are the person she should be with today, and you don’t have to endure night after night of endless stories about how the next guy used, abused, and broke her heart.
Love And Relationships
Is there really a way to make your ex want you again? Many people say there isn’t a chance, but science says it’s possible.
Whether we like it or not, we are all responsible for our own place in life based on the decisions we have made. You may say, “I didn’t choose to be broke” or “I didn’t choose to be overweight” and that may well be true. But your past and present decisions put you in that position.
At the time, you didn’t think taking that job or eating that junk food would lead to the consequences that it has, but the point is this: you – and you alone – are responsible for the decisions that led you to where you are right now. Nobody forced you.
Possibly the only exception on this planet is falling in love. This is the only thing that you can say has happened TO you.
It wasn’t a deliberate decision. You woke up one day and found you had this magical feeling about a person you just met – or maybe you had even known them for years. When you fall in love, it’s like getting blindsided by a truck. It just happens.
Science now confirms there are a number of chemicals released by the brain which cause people to fall in love. These chemicals are released when humans become attracted to an individual.
The reason attraction occurs is because, at a very basic level, we want to reproduce ourselves, and we want the best mate possible in order to produce the finest offspring.
So how does this tie into getting your ex back?
Well, in order to have a chance of making your ex want you again, there are a few things to consider.
First, you must be fit and healthy. Assuming that you want to produce healthy offspring, it is obvious that you want a mate who is fit and healthy in the first place.
Next, you need to be strong and independent. One of our most basic instincts is survival. For that, you need strength. If you are strong, the chances are that you will have a good chance of survival, and therefore be more attractive as a mate.
There is a very good clue here as to what to do after a break up if you want your ex back. Your urge is almost always to contact your ex and tell him or her how much you love them, how much you miss them, and so on. This is completely the wrong move based on what we’ve just talked about.
You’ve probably heard the no-contact rule before. And there’s a good reason for it.
It probably sounded something like, “No contact for the first month”. This means no contact at all. If they text you, you don’t reply.
Because by not contacting your ex for a month, you appear strong emotionally. You have the ability to move on and get on with your life. Or at least it appears that way to your ex.
It also helps if other people are in love with you. Why do so many women throw themselves at Mick Jagger? After all, he’s been called “uglier than a pig’s butt”. So it’s definitely not his looks that attract women.
Yes, he is a rich person and he has power, but he is also attractive because he is a strong individual. From very humble beginnings, he has survived and he has survived well, which makes him an ideal mate.
This gives you some idea into the sort of characteristics you should portray if you want any chance of getting your ex back.
No, it will not work every time, and you may suffer disappointment, in which case it is time to move on. But by being strong and not needy, you give yourself the best chance of creating the attraction that will release the chemicals in your ex’s brain to make him or her fall in love with you all over again.
Love And Relationships